[PrintOwners] Black hole up 287% year over year-- profit tip

[Stu]

On or about 12:26 PM -0400 8/16/07, QKCONSULT at aol.com emailed the following:

>Do you  get an itemized bill for your Pizza? Dough $2.00, Sauce $1.00,
>Toppings  $5.00, Pan Rental $2.00, Oven Heat Charge $2.00 and on and on and
>on and  on???

	Hello, Palermo Pauli's Printing. May I help you?

Yes, I'd like two large reams of printing --- uh, delivered.

	What toppings would you like on those?

Let's see...? The first we just want ink, but could you put extra ink on?

	Yes, extra on the ink. No problem.

...and on the other we'd like ink, varnish (aqua, not the greasy 
kind), and maybe some halftone dots on just half. Ok?

	Sure! Would you also like some spray powder on the one with 
extra ink? It's no additional charge?

Ok, but not a lot, as I am on a low-starch diet.

	Your total will be $98.45. Where would you like that delivered?

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	Welcome to High End Graphix Pizza. How may I help you?

I'd like a quote on two pizzas, please.

	Sure! Do you have the recipes, or would you like one of our 
culinary experts to come up with some for you?

I have the recipes right here on this index card.

	Great! You do understand that we have a $45 RIC charge we need 
to apply to read those index cards.

I knew you had the charge, but no, I don't understand it.

	I'll make sure you receive page 4 of your invoice, where those 
charges are fully explained. How many colors would you like on your 
pizzas?

I guess just red and green.

	It's not going to look like a real pizza with just red and 
green. I would highly recommend you order all the colors.

How much are all the colors?

	Black is $75, cyan and magenta are each $105, and yellow is 
$150...for a total cost of what all those add up to.

OK, give me all the colors.

	You got it! Two full-color Process pizzas. Would you like the 
traditional thin book crust, or extra-thick card?

What's the difference?

	One is $25 thicker and the other is $25 less.

I'll take the cheaper one.

	OK! So we got two $435 full-color process pizzas with standard 
$45 RIC from your recipe, on cheap thin book crust. Any bindery?


Would it cost a lot to cut them into individual slices?

	Not a lot, no. Let's see, (mumble: 16 inch---16 times pie pi 
equals circum...) Cutting would be $19, but we could also just 
perforate each slice for $38.

But that's more than cutting?

	Exactly, but it is perforation, which is much more difficult 
than cutting, as you only cut part of it.

Alright, perforate them.

	Shall we shrink wrap them, or just box them? Shrink wrapping is 
very sanitary and only costs $25 a wrap. Boxing is nasty, dirty and 
the boxes themselves often contain small particles of insect bodies. 
Boxes are FREE.

-Just old Stu-
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SETTING IT WRIGHT:
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Basically, I see only three choices. One way is neither right nor 
wrong and the other way isn't either.
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Wright Printing Co.  -- Central Illinois' biggest little print shop.
203 North St., Normal, IL 61761 309 452-4409  Fax 452-7422
Personal Mobile Phone: 309 826-1132 (Stu)
mailto:stu at wrightprinting.com - http://www.wrightprinting.com